Fear / Hope

“-And, well, we’re going to see where it goes from here… I can respect that man as a hero but as a father…” Todoroki trailed off, opting to look down at his hands instead. Iida’s eyes were glossy with unshed tears at his desk; Izuku, sitting on the class rep’s bed, had no such reservations, tears pooling at his eyes even though this had not been the first time he heard what was going on behind closed doors in the Todoroki household.

Iida cleared his throat, before glancing between both Izuku and Todoroki. “Thank you Todoroki for telling me! I always wondered what it was that got Midoriya so incensed during the sports festival…”

“It just seemed to make sense – if we’re going to be in a relationship together, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other,” was Todoroki’s response, as if airing long held issues was easy. Maybe it was, for him, having done this months before.

Secrets. While the idea of sharing everything with his new boyfriends – and that’s a thing that Izuku never expected, having not just one but two people who said they liked him and each other, after a veritable lifetime of ridicule and having his own emotions stomped upon – was exhilirating, there was heavy feeling in his stomach, of secrets and words that he couldn’t tell them because they weren’t his, and they were tied up with other things he couldn’t say so — It’s only when silence falls around the room that Izuku realizes he had, perhapshe had said some of that aloud as his boyfriends were giving him questioning looks.

“Midoriya-“

“I’m sorry, I have to go right now bye-” he didn’t even give the others a chance to respond or ask question, running out of Iida’s dorm room with haste. If a tiny bit of One for All was sparking up and down his limbs as he made his escape, Izuku didn’t make a note of it.

---

Someone was pounding at his door for the last few minutes. “Deku, I know you’re fucking in there.”

He could ignore it and there would be no shame in avoiding Kacchan. He had avoided everyone else since the not-date in Iida’s room the night previous, and honestly, he planned to continue until classes began Monday morning. “Deku,” was hissed through the door again, “I am going to count to five – if your door isn’t open, I’m blasting it off the damn hinges.” Kacchan started counting and, even through the wood, Izuku could hear the familiar cackle of his quirk.

The door swung open at 4, and Izuku gave a baleful glare at the blond, wrapped up in his comforter and not moving out of his way until the explosions in his hand went out. Kacchan came in with ease born from being used to occupying other people’s space. Especially Izuku’s.

“Sit down and shut the fuck up nerd, I had to deal with one of your boytoys being a fuckwit all morning and that is shit I can’t stand,” he growled, pushing Izuku towards his own bed and closing the door with a slam.

Once he saw that Izuku was sitting, Kacchan began to pace, “So what I got from what Half’n’half told Baldy,” real mature there, not even learning their names, “instead of pouring your heart out like the God damned dweeb you are, you ran out on your lovebirds.” Izuku knew he fucked up, even as he hunched into his blanket more. “And then you’re ignoring not just them, but round face and the rest of the class like a tool.” It wasn’t like he was ignoring everyone on purpose – it was just, after last night, Izuku failed to plug in his phone, unwilling to see all the notifications and feel guilty.

“I couldn’t stay there,” Izuku replied gloomily, sniffling a bit. “I couldn’t stay there and smile and say that everything was on the table when I was still keeping something, something big from them. I can’t – lying to them just feels awful, and even if I just… don’t mention One For All, it’s still lying by omission and-“

Kacchan slammed a hand flat against Izuku’s desk, rattling the All Might memorabilia screwed across it and stopping the other teen short. “Then fucking tell them, fuckface.” At the incredulous look Izuku sent him, he rolled his eyes. “It’s your fucking power now. If you’re worried about All Might, talk to him first, but it’s your quirk, your life, and if he doesn’t like it, he should have thought of someone else to take it.” There was a pause before the blond added, “And if they decide that they don’t want to be with you?” Kacchan gave a wicked grin, “Even better, gives me a good reason to Explodo-kill glasses and pretty boy.”

Hearing his former best friend take utter glee at the idea of premeditated murder of his boyfriends should have made Izuku scared but instead, all it elicited was watery, hiccup-like laughs.

“You good nerd?” Kacchan asked, with a raised brow.

Izuku nodded, “yeah Kacchan, I’m good.”

With a nod and what might of been a small smile, Katsuki headed towards the door as Izuku dug out his dead phone. He had a call to make and then some boyfriends to meet.

---

To: Iida♡, Todoroki♡
Message: can u both meet me in my room in 20min?

---

There was a crisp, clear knock on his door. It had been a couple of hours since Kacchan had visited Izuku, but the green haired teen knew who was there – it was twenty minutes on the dot after all. Now dressed (although it was just a pair of jeans and another novelty tee), Izuku opened the door to see both Iida and Todoroki standing on the other side, looking worried and apprehensive.

Izuku tried for a smile, but with eyes still slightly red from a bout of crying with All Might made his efforts fall flat. “Thanks for coming you two, c’mon in.”

The two shuffled in and, as Izuku closed the door, Todoroki piped up, voice small and quiet, a thin thread of worry coming through. “You’re not breaking up with us, are you?”

Izuku felt his heart squeeze. “No, that’s not it at all.” He turned to look at Todoroki directly, “How about we all sit down first okay?”

It takes some maneuvering – a lot of maneuvering, getting three teenage boys, even ones as small as Izuku himself, to fit them all on the dorm bed – but eventually they settle with Iida at the head, long legs stretched out, Todoroki against the wall at the foot, with Midoriya squished between them, shoulders brushing. Hands link together, a reassurance that Iida and Todoroki were willing to hear him out. He can feel the others looking at each other over his shoulders, but he keeps his gaze firmly on the All Might poster on the opposite wall. He can do this, his boyfriends are here and warm and attentive and he’s got the, not-quite reluctant, but overall still willing, blessing of All Might to say whatever he feels he should.

“I was really scared to tell you this,” Izuku started, hesitant and fearing their reaction. “It’s… I’m… I’m so sorry, I lied to you both – no to everyone – all year and trying to find the words to explain is hard…”

“…how about you just start from the beginning?” Todoroki suggests, brushing shoulders.

Izuku closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the solid presences on both sides helping to ground him in the now, not the Deku in the past where his name meant useless. “You remember how much of a mess I was in the beginning of the year with my quirk?” He felt some movements ….that might had been acknowledgment or maybe just the other two shifting for comfort. “Well, I was new to my quirk then.”

There’s a pregnant pause before Iida responded, “You mean you were new to using it, right?”

“No I…. You remember the entrance exam?” Izuku asked.

“Yes…? What does that have to do with -“

“That’s the first time I ever used my quirk – up until that morning I was quirkless and becoming a hero was impossible,” Izuku released in a breath, eyes closed, palms feeling clammy in the others’ holds.

He waited as the seconds passed before Todoroki squeezed his hand, a slight dusting of ice forming between them in an attempt to calm Izuku down. “Is that all there is?”

“That certainly explains why your use of it was so tremendously bad back then – you were, what, your third, fourth month of having a quirk during the sports festival?” Iida added, a hand on his shoulder offering more comfort.

Izuku opened his eyes leaning back so he can see both Iida and Todoroki at the same time – they looked… well, they looked like them, their faces weren’t twisted in disgust or pity or anything else he was used to getting. Tears began falling, as Izuku began to cry. “I-I was so worried you both were going to hate me, because I’m not normal and -” anything else he was going to say was cut off by Todoroki pushing him into Iida for a bear hug.

“We’re going to have to talk about the hows and whys at a later date,” that was Iida, who’s long arms was hugging Todoroki into Izuku into his broad chest. “But that can wait for another time. Okay?” All that answered was more crying, but he could feel the curl of lips into a smile. That was good enough for now, although there was definitely going to be more to talk about in the future. There was time for he and Todoroki to bring Izuku up and show him that it wasn’t the quirk that made him their hero, but the hope he instilled in them.