“So in the future…”

“So in the future…” Ye Zimu starts, staring at the bed above him.

Ling Chen doesn’t bother looking from whatever machine he was tinkering with but hums in response, to let the black haired teen know he was listening.

“Did the ‘me’ of that time have a lover?”

It’s only because he’s looking for it that Ye Zimu can see how the other boy’s hand twitches against the tool’s handle, a slight tensing before he forces himself to relax. “As a public figure, Ye Zimu didn’t nor couldn’t announce any sort of affairs. It’s not like in comic books where he could have a private life not blasted on tabloids.”

The carefully even tone makes something bloom in Ye Zimu’s chest, something that has him questioning the (former?) supervillain even more. “Even then it would be a lonely existence, not being able to embrace anyone. But knowing the great Panlos, if there was anyone in my life, you would know, wouldn’t you?”

Ye Zimu knows he’s treading in dangerous territory but ever since the other’s promise to be truthful, he can’t help but want to push, to want to know everything about this other future where things must have gone so badly to wound his best friend like this. But the urge to know outweighs his worries of pushing too far.

Ling Chen gives a mirthless chuckle, leaning back in the chair to a dangerous degree. “Well, there were a handful of people but I suppose the one who graced your bed most often would be good ol Professor Ling Chen.”

Ye Zimu’s breath hitches, confirmation! But then there’s even more questions. “…was that before or after you tried to kill me the first time, Er… the first first time.”

Ling Chen contemplates, leaning further and raising Ye Zimu’s anxiety. “Our first kiss happened before the first time Panlos made his first appearance although I’d been planning about it well before then. And the last time we fucked, hmm… maybe the day before I got sent back.”

He doesn’t even realize that he’s moved until he’s clutching the back of the chair, dipping it lower and making Ling Chen yelp, even as his eyes alight on the young hero. Ye Zimu wets his lips, trying to formulae his next question as Ling Chen – beautiful, amazing, broken Ling Chen – looks up at him.

“Does that mean… I mean, if we were together so often and so long, does that mean I have a chance?” Ye Zimu feels a little broken too. He has a guess at what Ling Chen is building, and he’s got an idea to make sure he stays instead of sacrificing himself, but is it the right thing? Would it be right or wrong to force him to stay here, stay in this time with him and everyone else, to make this world important enough to live for.

Ling Chen smirks up at him, parts him in his cheek and moves his body just so to force the chair to have all four legs on the floor and Ye Zimu has to let go and take half a step back unless he wants to break the thing.

He makes a small humming noise.  “Who knows. I can’t say until we deal with the old man Ye Zimu first.”

That little feeling in his chest grows even more. It’s not a no. It’s not a no!

Sure it’s not a definitive yes either, but the possibility will be enough to sustain him. 

He’s read somewhere, ages ago, that it’s always right to save a life, even if the person doesn’t want to live.  It’s selfish, but Ye Zimu does not want to be in a world without Ling Chen in any capacity and, if the other him is anything like the him of now, he probably feels the same. Even at his worst, Ling Chen has always been something precious and he’s unwilling to give it up.

Months later, facing an older him who’s carrying Ling Chen and ready to return to a ruined world (ruined in all the important ways – no Auntie, no Jiang Xiao, no Qiao Yi, no Dad, no Mr Kosovo and a Ling Chen who doesn’t just despise him but wants to die too), Ye Zimu allows himself a sliver of doubt.

But just a sliver.

Then he does the selfish thing, disregarding lofty ideals and all that bullshit. He latches onto Ling Chen’s limp hand and refuses to let go.

He’s banking on those old feelings and not nos, but it didn’t matter. Ling Chen is still by his side and that’s all he ever really needs.